February 26, 2010
About 10 years ago my parents sold their house in the metropolitan DC area and purchased a second home near Orlando, Florida. Since they already had the lake house in Bumpass, Va. they were going to become "snow birds" and split their year between homes.
Shortly after they moved into their 55+ retirement community, my Mom took one final trip for work to Prague for a month. Tim and I were in need of our own trip so we drove to Florida to see the new house and visit with my Dad.
We also were were worried he'd starve to death and shift to a "liquid diet" without my Mom there to cook for him.
It's no exaggeration that we stuck out in the large community of retired people for a few reasons. Tim and I learned a few things that are not acceptable and for some reason frowned upon:
- Cruisin' through the neighborhood with the windows down and music blaring after 4 p.m.
- Being first in line for "free" beer during the Oktoberfest dinner.
- Throwing ice from our mimosas into the pond where the baby alligators were sleeping.
- Driving your golf cart up on the green.
- While playing the back nine, grabbing oranges from the trees and tossing them at each other on the course.
- Asking the bartender during happy hour at the clubhouse to just make your drink a double instead of getting buy one get one free drinks.
- After several of these large drinks, knocking your then-boyfriend off his chair while your Dad is meeting new people in the community.
- Calling Dad's new friends "Damn Yankees" after they said they retired and moved down from Michigan, Ohio and New York.
- Referring to the state of Florida as Heaven's Waiting Room in a retirement community.
- Speaking too loudly.
- Not speaking loudly enough.
- Sleeping in past 6 a.m.
- Riding your bike on the wrong side of the road.
- Doing cannonballs into the community pool.
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